Up Against a Titan!

Now that I have been lucky enough to have a gay bashing and wisdom teeth slow me down, I figured I'd get back to the blogging for a bit, until my life gets back to the craziness and I lose track yet again.

Lets Talk LOVE!

I have had some revelations these past few weeks and just have soo many conversation pieces.

Have you ever noticed sometimes you can have the most love surrounding you, right in your face, and yet you still feel so alone because you just aren't looking?

About two weeks ago I come across this guy Jason. Very Charismatic, Adorable to say the least, and while not a show stealer hes got the ..... spirit big enough to tame a wild mustang. While I'm already surrounded by exponential amounts of people who love me, I beg to ask the question.
Is there a such thing as too much Love?

While growing up in Ohio I wasn't overly accepted by my community, I spent much of my High school Career trying to please everyone. I participated in every extra-curricular activity possible; Starred in as many plays, ran as many races, pleased as many elders.... bla bla bla bla bla.
I was also the first ethnically cultured kid to attend my middle school. So I spent my childhood breaching practically all racial and stereotypical barriers. There was never anyone who appreciated just how hard it was to smile even though you have people spewing hate or disbelief all around you. But, I fought on, never looking for a reward, only looking for personal growth.

After High school I joined the Army Reserves, and while you feel jubilant to be able to walk 20 miles at 4 in the morning, you are truly just a number. I would express my passion towards every task at hand and be relieved to be able to triumph over these things no "faggot" should ever be able to do. But ultimately, you are an army of many.

It wasn't until I moved away from that horrible town and got out of the Army that I started to soar. It came as a surprise to me. With my favorite poem being "somebody said that it couldn't be done - By Edgar A. Guest" and the Quote "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. - By Les Brown" and the Song "Bring on the rain - By Jodee Messina"being my ever driving force, I based My life off me making myself happy and not depending on others to do so.

I've Quickly become embarrassed inside, by this community of people that think quite the contrary. They Love me to the point of tears, they teach me new things everyday, they've helped me grow into this free spirited being that I didn't know could share the love he had inside himself. and It's weird!

I dunno how to do this right, I'm 23 Right? I don't understand how I can have such an impact? So, Now I'm in the middle of this firestorm between My feelings and what everyone else is conveying.

I hear "You're Amazing!" "Do what you do!" "Don't Change for the world!". And It becomes hard for me to battle those voices that have been dug in from childhood. What Has made me so fortunate to cross the paths of people so considerate, so magnificent; so early on? When does the confidence I have become Cockiness?

UGH! Questions, Questions, Questions!

Well, until I figure out my answers, which are honestly answers I may never know the truth to.
I think it's my place to spread all of the love I have been given to as many people as possible. You know these aren't really questions any one person can answer either. So, for all of you out there reading this, choose the road less taken, Be amazed in the amazing, love what you do and don't settle for less. and if you cross my path and I'm acting like a severe flare up of ADHD. Know its because I feel loved, Know that I'm enjoying my life, and all I'm doing is doing my best to spread the love.